Changes urged to permanent alimony laws in Florida

 

By Paul Brinkmann at South Florida Business Journal
10/26/2012 

Battle lines are being drawn again in an ongoing effort to reform Florida’s alimony laws, including a new effort to get the state to release records about alimony payers……This year, advocacy group Florida Alimony Reform is preparing to back another bill.

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  1. bucbabe63 says:

    I neglected to put down what happened to the Navigator. She kept it in arrears and ended up buying herself a NEW convertible, meanwhile she’s hiding the Navigator behind the house, so we couldn’t see it when we picked up or dropped off Aaron. One of the boys finally spilled the beans and Dallas asked her about it, to get it back him so we could sell it to pay off the loan. She said she might. So, his parents even asked her to do the right thing and get the SUV do Dallas. 2 months later, and right before REPO, she gave it up… As we’re cleaning it in my front yard, inside & out.. It was filfhy… she drove by, beeped her horn from her new car, slowed down and was laughing at us.. She said something too, but neither of us could hear over the radio we had playing.

  2. bucbabe63 says:

    There absolutely has to some relief and common sense reform to permanent alimony! Especially, when the alimony payer is getting older, that has a very physical job & his body is breaking down. His ex-wife was a manipulative, vendictive, control freak. It’s unfair, that she can do all that she’s done & doing, yet still get permanent alimony!!
    Here is their story:
    THE FULL SKINNY ON DALLAS DIVORCE FROM BELINDA
    Dallas Keith Smith divorced Belinda S. Lewis Smith after more than a year of separation and 18 years of marriage. Separated in February 2001, divorce final April 2002.
    Belinda had found out that he was seeing someone, me. Dallas & I were both from similar backgrounds & the circumstances of us getting married to our ‘school sweethearts,’ were eerily similar. Although I was already separated and had planned, as well as discussed a divorce from my 1st husband for several years, Dallas & I did begin to comfort each other online…This lead to more and eventually us falling in love with each other.
    According to family members and specifically Dallas’ sister, described Dallas as a young naive adult, controlled by first his mother and eventually by his wife to be. I was told that Dallas’ mother “groomed’ Belinda in her own image,” which his mother came to regret, shortly before her death. Dallas entered into a marriage out of a sense of obligation and duress, brought on my Belinda & his mother. His girlfriend said she was pregnant, so they went to his parents to let them know and that they would be getting married. His mother had Belinda take a preg test, it was negative…But, he was convinced out of shame to marry her anyway, since they were already having sex. Dallas recalls standing at the ‘alter’ asking himself, ‘what was he doing?’ He doesn’t remember much, other than go along with the day.
    They had 2 boys in the first few years of his marriage. Dallas had one affair early on, that Belinda & his parents found out about and they threatened him to stop or he would lose everything! He would be written out of the will, he would lose his parents land, he would lose his children and basically he would lose everything. So, he conceded to their demands, as the affair was not about love. From then on, he was closely monitored; Belinda quit her job to stay home to keep her eyes on him. He wasn’t even allowed to go on an errand to the store, without one or both boys being with him. He admitted that he was never in love with Belinda. He stayed faithful and became engrossed with his children and every sport they could stay busy with, baseball & football. Dallas coached & became the football youth league President for 9 years. That is where we met, although we grew up in the same town. He did Boy Scouts with my cousins, he was a friend of my brother in high school, his parents knew many of my family that lived in the area. Yet we never knew each other, until meeting at the youth football league where I was a team mom & head coach for my oldest daughter’s cheerleading team. We would run into each other at league meetings and gatherings, even going to Beef O’Brady’s after games on Saturdays. The 1999 fall season was going to be my last, as my daughter had moved on to the Dance team at her high school. But, I was courted by the Head of Cheerleading & Belinda (from the Board) to come back for the 2000 fall season and coach again, stating that the girls liked me and I was a good coach, etc.
    It wasn’t until my last year of coaching that Dallas & I, took particular notice of one another and sparks began to fly. We both were almost childlike, giddy around each other and I couldn’t make direct eye contact with him without looking away or down. But, life happens and even though it was wrong HOW we became a couple, that was the way it was…Starting first online chats. We got serious in mid December 2000. My husband was moving out (separating) in February 2001, after he got his bonus check. We were headed to divorce anyway, We’d just wanted to wait for our oldest daughter to graduate from high school in June 2002. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out according to my plan. I did fall in love with Dallas and he with me. We tried, but couldn’t stop talking to each other, meeting each other.
    My husband did move out in 17 February 2001. That weekend, I chose to go away with Dallas. I did not tell my husband, of course. Dallas used some other excuse. But, Belinda suspected something and went online. She figured out his password to his email account & found numerous emails from both of us to each other. She was raging. We’d just got to the beach when she began paging him, over & over.. Finally Dallas called her back to make sure everything was okay and the kids were okay. She let him have it! She told him that he had 15 minutes to get back to the house or she was ready to burn everything he owned. We left right away, but we were at least an hour away from his house. When he drove up his driveway, he could see flames. As he got closer he saw her sitting by a huge fire laughing. His youngest son, Aaron 11 years old at the time, was there too, watching quietly. Dallas got out of his truck and ran to see if anything could be salvaged and it was all ruined, even his work clothes & boots. Needless to say, they got in a huge argument. She did as she’d done earlier in their marriage, use the kids as leverage, use the land, the will, his credit, his parents, his status at the ball fields, etc. You name it, she threatened to ruin him in any way possible. He left that Saturday night and went to work to sleep. The next day, Sunday, we went to buy him some clothes to wear to work and a couple things for other times. He went to withdraw some money from the ATM, it was ZERO. He then tried to use his credit card to purchase what he needed and it was declined. He found out that she’d ran up the credit card, took all the money from the accounts AND over the next couple of months, she re-activated an OLD Sears Credit Card that was in Dallas’ name only and was able to RAISE the LIMIT to $6k, via the mail. Dallas didn’t even remember it, because they’d paid it off. She was ordered to make payments by the court during their separation, but she stopped making them at all once the divorce was final. So, it hit Dallas’ credit! She was awarded the house and a new Navigator SUV, but was always in arrears to the point of Dallas receiving collection notices on the Navigator & Mortgage. Dallas paid all household bills, until the first temporary hearing, he was ordered to pay her $2200.00 during the temporary hearings and all through their separation, until their final divorce. During which time, the Mortgage actually went into foreclosure twice and the last time he was being summoned to court. She sold the house in the 11th hour, just before the house was going to auction and she got ALL the equity money that was in it, to the tune of about $50k. Even then, she left the electric bill that was in arrears 2 months, for Dallas to pay. In the divorce final, she also received more than ½ his 401k and Dallas bought her out of his pension retirement. He is also obligated to hold life insurance of $100k on himself, with her as beneficiary. She turned his parents against him, used the kids terribly and raked him over in the community. She stalked him at his 2 apartments, she came out of the darkness one time and started punching him in his face, with every finger wearing a ring, while he was carrying his clean laundry up the steps to his apartment. He knew he couldn’t hit back, for fear of going to jail. So, he did his best with his free arm to fend her off and unlock his door to get inside.
    She ‘borrowed’ money to purchase brand new refrigerator, washer & dryer, from Dallas’ mother. Belinda knew his parents were not rich & did not have those kinds of resources. They were in their 70’s – 80’s. Belinda knew his mother was going to cash in a life insurance policy. A policy that was going to go a long way, to help cover the cost of her burial. His mother was angered and remorseful for cashing it in and even giving her anything, especially never getting one red penny back for the ‘loan.’
    My husband has paid his dues…he missed 2 years relationship with his parents & his oldest son. Dallas did get a court order to get his youngest son for regular visitation. He had to work hard to rebuild his relationship with both his children, especially the oldest child who was of driving age. Dallas’ parents later regretted their actions, including refusing to come to our wedding in June 2002. His parents came to see her for what she is and distanced themselves as her allies and in fall of 2004, they had both of us over for dinner. From there, our relationship did get better, much better. They saw very quickly that I truly loved their son & would do anything for him. Dallas’ mother passed away in August 2006.
    Another point in fact is that Dallas paid $986 per month for child support. He asked her for a reduction $200, in child support, once their oldest son turned 18 and NOW was living with us for free (That’s entirely different story) and she refused.. We couldn’t afford attorney fees to take her back to court, so we continued to pay her child support for 3 years for the oldest son, until the youngest son turned 18. At that point, he was able to eliminate child support for both sons.
    Other miscellaneous details…AFTER their divorce:
    April 6?, 2001, She used both kids, 11 & 14 in a desparate attempt to control Dallas. She kept both kids home from school and had them call him & beg him to come back home. They were sobbing uncontrollably. Dallas went home for that weekend, for the kids and to let her know that he couldn’t stay with her anymore & the threats of losing everything was no longer a concern of his.
    She sent me notes to watch out.. She told me to be afraid. She told me once, “No holds barred.”
    At the time of their split, she sent copies of my emails to my parents, in an concerted effort to cause as much harm and hurt as she could to us. My parents were terribly hurt & embarrassed.
    She tried to get one of my daughter’s school admins., to deliberately hurt my oldest daughter in some way. But the admin had better sense and wanted to keep her job & reputation.
    She told their son’s, that she would NEVER get married receiving $1400.00 per month in alimony!!

    Harrassment, Threats & Embarrassment continued after Dallas is married to me:
    She physically assaulted Dallas in front of my youngest daughter & I, while waiting for his youngest son to come out to our vehicle for his first visitation.
    She yelled & screamed at us at the boys football & baseball games, even one of them my parents attended.
    She would follow us, if we went to the bathroom or concession stand during their boys games.
    One particular away game in Lakeland, She called me a bitch and threw her elbow/arm into my husband and turned around to tell everyone, including a cop at the game, that “he hit me.” Then Dallas gets questioned in front of everyone in the stadium about domestic violence. Then we were watched for the rest of the game.
    She threatened me and followed me to the bathroom once, with her friend to corner me & intimidate me.
    Miscellaneous info:
    Belinda has at least a 2 year degree. She worked for 10 years for the State of Florida, in ‘Child Support Enforcement.’
    As I mentioned above, Belinda did sell the house in 2005 and moved to Orlando, leaving an electric bill 2 months in arrears for us to pay.
    When she moved to Orlando, she had a job set up via a common friend, working for an attorney.
    We have heard that she became a paralegal.
    Both their now adult kids, have told Dallas that her boyfriend is living with her. They are always together and he has a P.O. Box listed as his address.
    She & her boyfriend wear identical rings on their left ring finger.

    PLEASE, PLEASE… HELP MORE OF US!! HE WOULD LIKE TO RETIRE SOMEDAY TOO!! ~Sincerely

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