In Florida, Alimony Never Ends: Video of 72-Year-Old Alzheimer Patient Ordered to Pay Lifetime Alimony

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Alimony needs to be limited in time and amount. Too often in the Sunshine State, it lasts a lifetime, even when payers are elderly, gravely ill, out of work, and don‘t have the money. This alimony payer‘s second wife took this video and asked us to show it to you. Here she takes care of him at their home near Ft. Myers., in basic ways he can no longer care for himself. He has had to spend $114,000 on legal fees, attempting to lower his payments as his illness progressed, including having to pay his ex-wife‘s attorney‘s fees. At 72-years-old, he must pay alimony until he dies, or be sent to jail. His ex-wife has three degrees, belongs to many distinguished professional associations, and teaches part-time. She received a generous share of the marital assets.After you watch the video, please write and call your legislators again. Ask them to ensure that the new alimony law will set limits in the amount and duration of alimony awards. Also, please click here to leave comments about this video on the FAR YouTube Channel.
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  1. JKayJefferson says:

    Ten years ago, I divorced after separating just before the 20th anniversary of my marriage. I was the main provider for our family and traveled extensively. My ex-husband refused to work, which was what lead to the divorce. He had commonly stated “he liked his life just the way it was” even though he was capable and our three children were then in their teens and no longer needed hourly care. The divorce was finalized, however, the judgments in the divorce never made any sense to me. I was only 36 years old and my ex-husband 37. I was 16 years old when I got married. I had no idea what marriage was really about. Most of the 14 years of marriage we ate peanut butter and jelly and prayed we had enough money for the mortgage payment. We couldn’t afford daycare so we always had to shuffle around work schedules. The last four years of marriage I just happened to land promotion after promotion because I was working 80 hours a week. During the settlement-I felt out of control-with barely enough money left to pay the people in suits telling me what I don’t get and that I will now be bound with debt the rest of my life. All I kept hearing was “the law is the law”. I always wondered why I paid so much money for an attorney if the law is the law. He was awarded child support, which I had no issue. He was given the family home, all the contents. I was given all the debt and was awarded permanent alimony. After the divorce, economic times were tough and jobs were difficult to keep but in order to ensure our three children’s needs were met and were able to gain further education -I continued my education achieving a BA, MBA, and a DBA. My ex went back to school for a few weeks then decided to drop out. My son stated he questioned why he should have continued with the child support and alimony -he was confident I would give the children additional money when asked. He then took a job as a host at a local restaurant and as a food service worker at a local middle school. The current family law system and the alimony inhibited his ability to form a normal and healthy relationship. He has been hospitalized and almost died with a diseased liver from Hepatitis contracted from multiple relationships -just so he would not lose his alimony. He does not need to be responsible, he does not need to worry about financial needs- all he has to do is have fun, vacation on his cruises and drink. Alimony has only hurt my family. It has hurt my children. They see their father unable to move on from our marriage. They see him drink himself to death with no need to improve him. They see him try to find ways to provide companionship without losing the alimony. His accomplishments include DUIs and this last month….Alimony has broken the term FAMILY to all new levels. My ex was charged with OBSCENE COMM 18YOA OR OLDER USING A COMPUTER;OBSCENE COMM CHILD EXPLOITATION;OBSCENE COMM USE COMPUTER TO LURE MINOR CHILD. My children have seen him try to commit suicide. Now once again-he has no job-looking at prison. Just think, under the current law he now can ask for more alimony. Not only will I continue to support this man I married at 16, a healthy man capable and able to support himself but was not willing, a man that has let alimony monies come between him, life, family and reality—yes now the state of Florida will most likely also join me in the support of my ex-husband.

    The sadness of this story is the very law that attempts to protect the family can just the same break the hearts and center of family units in many ways. I think it is important that we remember society from a systems thinking perspective. We can help others by helping them to help themselves. This is the only true way one can find pride and meaning in their lives. This is my story and one that has no ending. I would be happy to share further.

    Thank you for your time.

  2. I was a 33 year old parent of two having been married for 9 years. I was transgendered so sought a divorce. Due to my medical expenses, i could not afford a lawyer. I agreed to permanent nonmodifiable alimony and child support, not believing I could successfully defend myself. I made a successful business career and integrated with society fully and happily. Although i paid my obligations religiously and completely, my ex emotionally abused my children telling them for 10 years that If i could afford to offer to take them out to a restaurant or to Disney World, I could afford more support. It took me 10 years to restore my relationship with my children, who divulged to me the abuse. I have offered a reasonable buyout of the permanent alimony. The ex refuses, seeing a lifetime annuity.

    My two children are fully grown and the ex has not worked a day since the divorce. My lawyer tells me that here, 18 years later, my prospects for ever being extricated from my past are presently nonexistent.

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