Gordon Finley: Permanent alimony unfair to so many

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Media: The Sun Sentinel (Opinions)

By: Gordon E. Finley, Ph.D (Professor of Psychology Emeritus at Florida International University)
Published Date: 12/03/2012

"Permanent alimony today is not fair to men, and soon will be unfair to women when the current gender gaps favoring females in education, occupation, and income kick in and will make them the payers." READ MORE...

This opinion above was inspired by the Sun Sentinel Editorial titled Change permanent alimony.

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  1. Permanent alimony may be unfair in some cases and there are some aspects that should be changed, such as the second wifes income playing a role in alimony. I was with my ex-husband for 23 1/2 years and married 19 of those. We had a house, among other assets, he was able to go get his schooling for his career, which he makes very good money at, while I was told we did not have the money for me to go to school. I put up with his infedelity for many years, including an affair with his AUNT which was pretty much the last straw.
    I believe that if a person gets a divorce because of adultery then they are intitled to receive permanent compensation. I would never have divorced him if no for the many affairs he had, so why should my life have to change to a lower standard of living while he is out there living it up.

    • John Brinsko says:

      Hello rkhill58,
      So it sounds like that you feel that permanent alimony should be awarded as retribution or punishment for moral wrongdoing. Is this right since none of these affairs that you state are against the law and no one has been brought before the judge solely for these acts. I myself feel that what you ex-husband did was disgusting (especially the affair with his aunt) but do not feel that he should be fined for this. I feel confident that he will pay for these affairs in other ways. Also, you fail to mention the fact that you also received 50% of all marital assets at the time of the divorce which if what you say is true is considerable.
      I am 61 and ordered to pay permanent alimony since the age of 45 at the end of a 17 year marriage. I did not want the divorce (Florida is a no fault divorce state) had two teenage children at the time and did nothing wrong (no drugs, alcohol, adultery or wife beating). I have been suspicious since the beginning that my ex wife was having an inappropriate relationship with a catholic priest. I was diagnosed with colon cancer 3 1/2 years ago. My life style has definitely changed with continuing chemotherapy while my ex-wife’s lifestyle continues in the style that she had become accustomed to. I ask you, does this sound fair or morally right to you?

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